The best way to get a good spouse is to deserve a good spouse.
In marriage, you shouldn't look for someone with good looks and character. You look for someone with low expectations.
One can only face in others what one can face in oneself.
Love, honor and negotiate.
Faults are thick where love is thin.
The first duty of love is to listen.
Never dull your shine for somebody else.
Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
Seek not every quality in one individual.
A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.
Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight.
The same fence that shuts others out shuts you in.
It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.
The greatest of all arts is the art of living together.
Accept me as I am—only then will we discover each other.
There's one thing worse than being alone: wishing you were.
Mature people relate to each other without the need to merge.
If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it.
There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships.
Man is a knot, a web, a mesh into which relationships are tied.
Getting people to like you is only the other side of liking them.
In human relations kindness and lies are worth a thousand truths.
When all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of me?
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.
In all proper relationships there is no sacrifice of anyone to anyone.
To live happily with other people, ask of them only what they can give.
Nothing in the world is so rare as a person one can always put up with.
We love those who know the worst of us and don't turn their faces away.
Any relationship is like a house with an upstairs: it's got two stories.
I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.
Love endures only when the lovers love many things together and not merely each other.
Living together is an art. It's a patient art, it's a beautiful art, it's fascinating.
Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.
A sound marriage is not based on complete frankness; it is based on a sensible reticence.
We appreciate frankness from those who like us. Frankness from others is called insolence.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
The hardest learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.
If you love someone but rarely make yourself available to him or her, that is not true love.
The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own.
The longest absence is less perilous to love than the terrible trials of incessant proximity.
Man is a knot, a web, a mesh into which relationships are tied. Only those relationships matter.
Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people are worth the pain.
The better we feel about ourselves, the fewer times we have to knock somebody else down to feel tall.
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
Love is not measured by how many times you touch each other but by how many times you reach each other.
Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.
All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, appreciated a little.
Always do what you say you are going to do. It is the glue and fiber that binds successful relationships.
The man who offers an insult writes it in sand, but for the man who receives it, it's chiseled in bronze.
Our opinion of people depends less upon what we see in them than upon what they make us see in ourselves.
One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
The only thing as challenging as getting tangled in the underbrush of relationship is trying to write about it.
Basically, the only thing we need is a hand that rests on our own, that wishes it well, that sometimes guides us.
We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage.
Relationships are never about power, and one way to avoid the will to power is to choose to limit oneself—to serve.
My attachment has neither the blindness of the beginning—nor the microscopic accuracy of the close of such liaisons.
Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy. Happiness is the atmosphere in which all good affections grow.
In every relationship, sooner or later, there is a court scene. Accusations, counter-accusations, a trial, a verdict.
It's the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it's the little differences that make them interesting.
I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Our most meaningful relationships are often those that continued beyond the juncture at which they came closest to ending.
There can be nothing more baffling in a human relationship than silence, the dark loom of doubts and questions unexpressed.
In the coldest February, as in every other month in every other year, the best thing to hold on to in this world is each other.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
Now the whole dizzying and delirious range of sexual possibilities has been boiled down to that one big, boring, bulimic word. RELATIONSHIP.
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a lot of overlapping.
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
Expect people to be better than they are; it helps them to become better. But don't be disappointed when they are not; it helps them to keep trying.
In a successful marriage, there is no such thing as one's way. There is only the way of both, only the bumpy, dusty, difficult, but always mutual path.
Only discretion allows intimacy, which depends on shared reticence, on what is not said—unsolvable things that would leave the other person ill at ease.
A friend of mine spent twenty years looking for the perfect woman; unfortunately, when he found her, he discovered that she was looking for the perfect man.
A relationship, I think, is, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
Human relations just are not fixed in their orbits like the planets—they're more like galaxies, changing all the time, exploding into light for years, then dying away.
Human relations just are not fixed in their orbits like the planets — they're more like galaxies, changing all the time, exploding into light for years, then dying away.
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods.
If we are a metaphor of the universe, the human couple is the metaphor par excellence, the point of intersection of all forces and the seed of all forms. The couple is time recaptured, the return to the time before time.
It is all explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart's.
Everything of value takes work, particularly relationships. If a mother and daughter don't understand each other, and further don't have sympathy for each other's lack of understanding then the task is to build a bridge across the chasm of misunderstanding.
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.
As for breaking up, once the relationship is over, you never really know what went wrong; you just feel nauseous whenever the subject comes to mind. After a plane crash there's the black box that tells the FAA what caused the crack-up. Too bad there's no black box of relationships.
When I sense myself filling with rage at the absence of a beloved, I try as soon as possible to remember that my concerns and questions, my efforts and answers should be focused on what I did or can learn from my departed love. What legacy was left which can help me in the art of living a good life?
The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner's faults honestly and say, 'I can work around that. I can make something out of that.'? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."
Loss aversion is an innate flaw. Everyone who experiences emotion is vulnerable to its effects. It's part of a larger psychological phenomenon known as negativity bias, which means that, for the human mind, bad is stronger than good. This is why in marital interactions, it generally takes at least five kind comments to compensate for one critical comment.
Is suffering so very serious? I have come to doubt it. It may be quite childish, a sort of undignified pastime—I'm referring to the kind of suffering a man inflicts on a woman or a woman on a man. It's extremely painful. I agree that it's hardly bearable. But I very much fear that this sort of pain deserves no consideration at all. It's no more worthy of respect than old age or illness.
One realizes that even in harmonious families there is this double life: the group life, which is the one we can observe in our neighbour's household, and, underneath, another – secret and passionate and intense – which is the real life that stamps the faces and gives character to the voices of our friends. Always in his mind each member of these social units is escaping, running away, trying to break the net which circumstances and his own affections have woven about him. One realizes that human relationships are the tragic necessity of human life; that they can never be wholly satisfactory, that every ego is half the time greedily seeking them, and half the time pulling away from them. In those simple relationships of loving husband and wife, affectionate sisters, children and grandmother, there are innumerable shades of sweetness and anguish which make up the pattern of our lives day by day.