George Burns Quotes

Most popular George Burns Quotes

Sex after ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
— George Burns

sex

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
— George Burns

funny acting

If I paid $10 for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.
— George Burns

cigars Cigar

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
— George Burns

family

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than successful at something I hated.

success & failure failure success

The main thing about acting is honesty.  If you can fake that, you've got it made.

acting

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate.
— George Burns
A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.

relationships

Having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family; especially if they live in another city.

family

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
— George Burns

humor

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
— George Burns

failure success

If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
— George Burns

cigars smoking Cigar

A good martini, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman...or a bad woman, depending on how much happiness you can stand.

martini happiness

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman—or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
— George Burns

cigars

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
— George Burns

happiness

When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they'd say, 'Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.' Of course it's also a good prop on the stage... When you can't think of what you are supposed to say next, you take a puff on your cigar until you do think of your next line.
— George Burns

Cigar cigars