Harriet Lerner Quotes

Most popular Harriet Lerner Quotes

The Dance of Anger.
— Harriet Lerner


Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.


Feeling inadequate is an occupational hazard of motherhood.


The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.


Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.


Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.

the self anger

Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
— Harriet Lerner Ms


Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a "positive attitude" when this means concealing or denying real emotions.


Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.


Anger is a signal and one worth listening to..... Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self.
— Harriet Lerner


Deception and "con games" are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive—and to detect deception—are less apt to survive.


Most of us experience fear as a kind of stop sign or flashing red light that warns: 'Danger! Do not enter!'  But we may need to decode that signal and consider what it's trying to convey.