Cynical Quotes

Most popular cynical quotes

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.

envy human nature

Virtue has never been as respectable as money.


The world more often rewards the appearances of merit than merit itself.

appearances merit

Love is blind.


One is very crazy when in love.


In the midst of life we are in debt.
Who so loves believes the impossible.


God heals, and the doctor takes the fee.


It is impossible to love and to be wise.


Reason is a weak antagonist against love.

love reason

He who cannot love must learn to flatter.


There is pleasure in hardship heard about.

human nature

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.


Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

fortune wealth

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale.


The man who laughs has not yet heard the news.
Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables.


Most people would sooner die than think, and often do.

critical thinking funny

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren.


If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?


Don't let your will roar when your power only whispers.


Patience often gets the credit that belongs to fatigue.


If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it.

love relationships

Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.


You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

the public

Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.


Conscience serves us especially to judge of the actions of others.


You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.
Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain.


Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her.

deceit love men men and women

The sad thing about the optimist is his state of mind concerning himself.


Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.


All human actions are equivalent and all are on principle doomed to failure.


A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.


Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.


We know the good, we apprehend it clearly. But we can't bring it to achievement.
Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it.


Charity has always been an expression of the guilty consciences of a ruling class.


Education makes machines which act like men and produces men who act like machines.


Every successful revolution puts on in time the robes of the tyrant it has deposed.


When a man is in love he endures more than at other times; he submits to everything.


I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

funny marriage

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

funny impossible

There's nothing in this world so sweet as love. And next to love the sweetest thing is hate.


The happiest mortals on earth are ladies who have been bereaved by the loss of their husbands.


The average man's opinions are much less foolish than they would be if he thought for himself.


Love is based on a view of women that is impossible to those who have had any experience with them.

love women

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
True love is like a psychic experience. Everyone tells ghost stories, but few have ever seen a ghost.

true love

Every human being is treacherous to every other human being because he has to be true to his own soul.
Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.


Love as a relation between men and women was ruined by the desire to make sure of the legitimacy of children.

love marriage

To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and malice, "human" might be a greater insult.


Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.


War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

peace war

"Next time I will . . ." "From now on I will . . ." What makes me think I am wiser today than I will be tomorrow?
I haven't had true love in years. My heart is empty. But win or lose, I fought for what I believed in. I'll be okay.
Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.


I can see from your utter misery, from your eagerness to misunderstand each other, and from your thoroughly bad temper, that this is the real thing.


Gratitude is a sometime thing in this world. Just because you've been feeding them all winter, don't expect the birds to take it easy on your grass seed.


When young, one is confident to be able to build palaces for mankind, but when the time comes one has one's hands full just to be able to remove their trash.

mankind youth

He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patent-infringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discrimination--and taxes.


More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose.
Not necessity, not desire—no, the love of power is the demon of men. Let them have everything—health, food, a place to live, entertainment—they are and remain unhappy and low-spirited: for the demon waits and waits and will be satisfied.

human nature power