Politicians Quotes

Most popular politicians quotes

You can't beat somebody with nobody.
Talk is cheap—except when Congress does it.
You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose.
I have climbed to the top of the greasy pole.

personal

You really have to get to know Dewey To dislike him.
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Old politicians, like old actors, revive in the limelight.
If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve.
Politics, n: Poly ['many'] + tics ['blood-sucking parasites']

politics

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
Politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

politics

A politician is an arse upon
which everyone has sat except a man.
Anything that keeps a politician humble is healthy for democracy.

democracy

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.
We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
There ought to be one day—just one—when there is open season on senators.
Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is.
We campaign in poetry, but when we're elected we're forced to govern in prose.
The politician performs upon the stage; the historian looks behind the scenery.

history

The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.

funny

Politicians say they're beefing up our economy. Most don't know beef from pork.
What is the use of being elected or re-elected, unless you stand for something?
Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. We need more statesmen.

statesmanship

When a man assumes a public trust he should consider himself as public property.
Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently and all for the same reason.

funny

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

America

A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation.

statesmanship

Election year is that period when politicians get free speech mixed up with cheap talk.
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
They are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even when there is no river.
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.
The politician is an acrobat. He keeps his balance by saying the opposite of what he does.
Politicians are like diapers.  They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.
The politician is an acrobat.  He keeps his balance by saying the opposite of what he does.
Rare is the citizen who will accept responsibility for the politician he voted into office.

voting

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull. This is not always easy to achieve.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.

funny

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where they is no river.
No part of the education of a politician is more indispensable than the fighting of elections.
The truly skillful politician is one who, when he comes to a fork in the road, goes both ways.

funny

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

Commusism

My role is that of a grain of sand to an oyster.  We've got to irritate Washington a little bit.
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything.  That points clearly to a political career.

politics

For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship's captain complaining about the sea.
Probably the most distinctive characteristic of the successful politician is selective cowardice.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

funny

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

politics

Politicians are like monkeys.  The higher they climb, the more revolting are the parts they expose.
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

funny

Sometimes they have to put out a fire, but the vocation of the politician is not that of a firefighter.
A politician has spent the best years of his life in an endeavor to make the world safe
for stupidity.
If you want to find a politician free of influence, you can find Adolf hitler who made up his own mind.

influence

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.
A political convention is just not a place where you come away with any trace of faith in human nature.
The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.

funny

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
The most successful politician is he who says what the people are thinking most often in the loudest voice.
When things don't go well they like to blame presidents; and that's something that presidents are paid for.

president funny

A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think he's the only one who can save the ship.
When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer "Present" or "Not guilty."
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

politics

We have plenty of confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our confidence in.
In Mexico, an air conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.
We don't expect them to tell the truth about power any more than we expect movie stars to tell the truth about love.
Politicians, like prostitutes, are held in contempt.  But what man does not run to them when he needs their services?
Congress is continually appointing fact-finding committees, when what we really need are some fact-facing committees.
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
A statesman is a dead politician. I am in the home of the living dead which is betwixt and between. The House of Lords.

statesmanship

A political leader is necessarily an imposter since he believes in solving life's problems without asking its question.
I have spent much of my life fighting the Germans and fighting the politicians. lt is
much easier to fight the Germans.
Politicians and journalists share the same fate in that they often understand tomorrow the things they talk about today.

journalism

It is useless to try to hold some people to anything they say while they're madly in love, drunk, or running for office.

funny honesty

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.
It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen.

politics

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.

politics

I like to operate like a submarine on sonar. When I am picking up noise from both the left and the right, I know my course is correct.
Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness.
A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.
Once there were two brothers: one ran away to sea, the other was elected Vice-President-and nothing was ever heard from either of them again.
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy 2% that get all the publicity.
A politician without a prepared text is like a Boris Becker without a tennis racket, a dog biscuit without a dog, or opera glasses without an opera.
Mankind will never see an end of trouble until ... lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power ... become lovers of wisdom.
Politicians make good company for a while, just as children do—their self-enjoyment is contagious.  But they soon exhaust their favorite subjects—themselves.
I wanted to be a sports writer. but it took me too long to turn out my stuff. I found I could become vice president faster than I could become a newspaperman.
Every man who takes office in Washington either grows or swells, and when I give a man an office, I watch him carefully to see whether he is swelling or growing.
Some people say to me, "But, Father, politicians aren't doing anything either!" But what are you doing? If you aren't doing anything, then scream [about yourself]!

action

Being a president is like riding a tiger . . . keep on riding or be swallowed. A president is either constantly on top of events or . . events will soon be on top of him.
A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.

president morals

Midas, they say, possessed the art of old of turning whatsoe'er he touch'd to gold; This modern statesmen can reverse with ease—Touch them with gold, they'll turn to what you please.
Take our politicians: they're a bunch of yo-yos. The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest and a high school debate, with an encyclopedia of cliches the first prize.

politics

The idea that you can merchandize candidates for high office like breakfast cereal—that you can gather votes like box tops—is, I think, the ultimate indignity of the political process.

politics

One has to be a lowbrow, a bit of a murderer, to be a politician, ready and willing to see people sacrificed, slaughtered, for the sake of an idea, whether a good one or a bad one.  I mean, those are the ones who flourish.
When it comes to television, the politician is severely handicapped.  He is trained in the art of inexactitude.  His words tend to be blunt or rounded, because if they have a cutting edge they may return later to wound him.
America is just the country that how all the written guarantees in the world for freedom are no protection against tyranny and oppression of the worst kind. There the politician has come to be looked upon as the very scum of society.

America

If a politician murders his mother, the first response of the press or of his opponents will likely be not that it was a terrible thing to do, but rather that in a statement made six years before he had gone on record as being opposed to matricide.

politics

All politicians are humble, and seldom let you forget it. They go around the country boasting about their humility. They are proud of their humility. Many are downright arrogant about their humility and insist that it qualifies them to be President.

humility

Politician, n.  An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared.  When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
With exceptions so rare that they are regarded as miracles and freaks of nature, successful democratic politicians are insecure and intimidated men.  They advance politically only as they placate, appease, bribe, seduce, bamboozle, or otherwise manage to manipulate the demanding and threatening elements in their constituencies.
Natural politicians are skilled actors, recreating reality, adjusting and ad-libbing, synthesizing the words, ideas, and feelings of others, slipping into different roles in different scenes, saying the same thing over and over again and making it seem like they are saying it for the first time.  It can be at once a creative art yet wholly derivative.