Doug Larson Quotes

Most popular Doug Larson Quotes

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.


To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
— Doug Larson

mistakes funny

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
— Doug Larson

human nature conscience

Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.
— Doug Larson


A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
— Doug Larson

puns humor

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
— Doug Larson


Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
— Doug Larson


The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
— Doug Larson


Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
— Doug Larson


The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
— Doug Larson


There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in heredity.
— Doug Larson

grandchildren heredity

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.


A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.
— Doug Larson


The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
— Doug Larson


An optimist is a person who smells the roses without worrying about the thorns.


Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
— Doug Larson


The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
— Doug Larson


Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
— Doug Larson

wisdom funny

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
— Doug Larson

teenage family

When somebody does something for your own good, you can bet you're not going to enjoy it.
— Doug Larson
Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
— Doug Larson

goals how to live life

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
— Doug Larson

funny cynical impossible

An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true.
— Doug Larson

optimism pessimism

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.


Rare is the citizen who will accept responsibility for the politician he voted into office.

politicians voting

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

wisdom talking listening

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
— Doug Larson


Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.


An optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds.  A pessimist fears the same may be true.

pessimism optimism

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
— Doug Larson


More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
— Doug Larson


The reality of old age starts to sink in when you no longer have to ask for the senior citizen's discount.

old age

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
— Doug Larson

funny age

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

English flowers

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
— Doug Larson


Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
— Doug Larson