Doug Larson Quotes

Most popular Doug Larson Quotes

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

aging

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
— Doug Larson

mistakes funny

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
— Doug Larson

human nature conscience

Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.
— Doug Larson

autumn

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
— Doug Larson

humor puns

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
— Doug Larson

springtime

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
— Doug Larson

nostalgia

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
— Doug Larson

grandchildren

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
— Doug Larson

shortcomings

The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
— Doug Larson

funny

There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in heredity.
— Doug Larson

heredity grandchildren

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.

friendship

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.
— Doug Larson

friendship

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
— Doug Larson

foolishness

An optimist is a person who smells the roses without worrying about the thorns.

optimism

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
— Doug Larson

happiness

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
— Doug Larson

cats

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
— Doug Larson

wisdom funny

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
— Doug Larson

family teenage

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
— Doug Larson

funny cynical impossible

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
— Doug Larson

how to live life goals

When somebody does something for your own good, you can bet you're not going to enjoy it.
— Doug Larson
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

heredity

An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true.
— Doug Larson

optimism pessimism

Rare is the citizen who will accept responsibility for the politician he voted into office.

politicians voting

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

listening wisdom talking

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
— Doug Larson

politicians

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

opportunity

An optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds.  A pessimist fears the same may be true.

optimism pessimism

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
— Doug Larson

marriage

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
— Doug Larson

fishing

The reality of old age starts to sink in when you no longer have to ask for the senior citizen's discount.

old age

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
— Doug Larson

age funny

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

flowers English

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
— Doug Larson

time

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
— Doug Larson

dogs