Russell Baker Quotes

Most popular Russell Baker Quotes

Americans like fat books and thin women.
— Russell Baker

America dieting

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

sports

Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.
— Russell Baker

misery

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.

the human condition

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.
— Russell Baker

cars

Stay away from all movements, faiths, philosophies, and people who threaten to help you find happiness.

happiness

When you're the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond.
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
— Russell Baker

life action

Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses.

happiness

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity there is no parent left to tell them.

parents

What Einstein was to physics, what Babe Ruth was to home runs, what Emily Post was to table manners—that's what Edward G. Robinson was to dying like a dirty rat.

actors

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.

morals politicians president

All politicians are humble, and seldom let you forget it. They go around the country boasting about their humility. They are proud of their humility. Many are downright arrogant about their humility and insist that it qualifies them to be President.

humility politicians