Will Rogers Quotes
Most popular Will Rogers Quotes
I never met a man I didn't like.
All I know is just what I read in the papers.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.
Things ain't what they used to be and probably never was.
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
The whole thing about women is, they lust to be misunderstood.
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
If you ever injected truth into politics you'd have no politics.
Heroing is one of the shortest-lifed [sic] professions there is.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
An economist's guess is liable to be just as good as anybody else's.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
We are all here for a short spell, so get all the good laughs you can.
We can't all be heroes, because someone has to sit on the curb and clap.
Get someone to blow your own horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
There ought to be one day—just one—when there is open season on senators.
This is the only country that ever went to the poorhouse in an automobile.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
We can't all be heroes, for someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
A king can stand people's fighting, but he can last long if people start thinking.
This [America] is the only country that ever went to the poorhouse in an automobile.
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with nowadays.
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees.
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again.
A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please.
The movies enable an actor not only to act, but also to sit down in the theater and clap for himself.
A Country can get more real joy out of just Hollering for their Freedom than they can if they get it.
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
We have plenty of confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our confidence in.
I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or as hard to check as a socially ambitious mother.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
The business of government is to keep the government out of business – that is, unless business needs government aid.
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do—well, that's Memoirs.
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad things you did do - well, that's memoirs.
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to do is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made.
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the president?'"
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their products that they do on advertising and then they wouldn't have to advertise.
Mothers are the only race of people that speak in the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.
While the Republicans are smart enough to make money, the Democrats are smart enough to get into office every two or three times a century to take it away from them.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.