Peter De Vries Quotes

Most popular Peter De Vries Quotes

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.


Life is a zoo in a jungle.

life zoo

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


The Rich aren't like us—they pay less taxes.


We pay for security with boredom, for adventure with bother.

boredom adventure security

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
Love is an art.  I thought you might notice my craft is ebbing.


The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.
[He] has decided to take himself a wife, but he hasn't decided yet whose.
— Peter De Vries


There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.


The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments—the very lower bowel of music.

musical instruments

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

marriage Adulthood

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.


Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.
— Peter De Vries
Psychoanalysis is a permanent fad. A vogue here to stay because it tells an old story in a new way.


The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination but the combination is locked up in the safe.
— Peter De Vries
The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination.  But the combination is locked up in the safe.


For the whole thing about matrimony is this: We fall in love with a personality, but we must live with a character.


The difference between satire and humor is that the satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive—often to release him again for another chance.

humor satire

Sex in marriage is like medicine.  Three times a day for the first week.  Then once a day for another week.  Then once every three or four days until the condition clears up.


Once a relatively simple dirt road with forks where the traveler had a simple choice, life is now a crowded superhighway with bewildering cloverleaf exits on which, after a maize [sic] of turns, a man is libel [sic] to find himself speeding back in the direction he came.