Witty Quotes

Most popular witty quotes

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

idiot stupidity

I think it would be a good idea.
I only open my mouth to change feet.

Fools holding your tongue

Go the extra mile. It's never crowded.
— Executive Speechwriter Newsletter

hard work

No matter where you go, there you are.
A bore is a person not interested in you.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.


Don't go backwards, you have already been there.


Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

ambition men and women

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

egotism narcissist

Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.


Many people who imagine they are live wires are only shocking.
I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes.

how to live life opportunity wise

If you haven't struck oil in the first three minutes, stop boring.


Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.


Honest bread is very well—it's the butter that makes the temptation.


Every day people are straying away from church and going back to God.

church God

It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

holding your tongue silence

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

opinions public opinion

One thing about experience is that when you don't have very much you're apt to get a lot.


For one year more it may be said of me by Harper & Brothers, that although I reject their proposals, I welcome their advances.


I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.