Witty Quotes

Most popular witty quotes

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. - Benjamin Franklin quote.
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

egotism narcissist

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. - Oscar Wilde quote.
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.
If you haven't struck oil in the first three minutes, stop boring. - George Jessel quote.
If you haven't struck oil in the first three minutes, stop boring.

oratory

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot. - Scott Adams quote.
There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
Scott Adams Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain

idiot stupidity

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard quote.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

life

Don't go backwards, you have already been there. - Ray Charles quote.
Don't go backwards, you have already been there.

life

Every day people are straying away from church and going back to God. - Lenny Bruce quote.
Every day people are straying away from church and going back to God.

church God

No matter where you go, there you are.
Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.

fear positive thinking

A bore is a person not interested in you. - Mary Pettibone Poole quote.
A bore is a person not interested in you.
Many people who imagine they are live wires are only shocking. - Mary Pettibone Poole quote.
Many people who imagine they are live wires are only shocking.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln quote.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

holding your tongue silence

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin quote.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Go the extra mile. It's never crowded.
— Executive Speechwriter Newsletter

hard work

I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes. - Sara Teasdale quote.
I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes.
Sara Teasdale “The Philosopher,” in Poems That Touch the Heart, edited by A. L. Alexander

wise how to live life opportunity

One thing about experience is that when you don't have very much you're apt to get a lot. - Franklin P. Jones quote.
One thing about experience is that when you don't have very much you're apt to get a lot.

experience

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain quote.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

opinions public opinion

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

ambition men and women

I only open my mouth to change feet.

Fools holding your tongue

Honest bread is very well—it's the butter that makes the temptation. - Douglas Jerrold quote.
Honest bread is very well—it's the butter that makes the temptation.

greed

For one year more it may be said of me by Harper & Brothers, that although I reject their proposals, I welcome their advances. - Edna St. Vincent Millay quote.
For one year more it may be said of me by Harper & Brothers, that although I reject their proposals, I welcome their advances.

writing

Don't be so humble - you are not that great. - Golda Meir quote.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

humility

I have nothing to declare except my genius. - Oscar Wilde quote.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
I think it would be a good idea. - Mahatma Gandhi quote.
I think it would be a good idea.
It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.