P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

Most popular P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat—in other words, turn you into an adult.
— P.J. O'Rourke

health Adulthood

One more swell thing about golf, it provides ammunition for the social bore.  Who doesn't love cornering others with tales of action and adventure starring the self?

golf

All the important lessons of life are contained in the three rules for achieving a perfect golf swing:  1. Keep your head down.  2. Follow through.  3. Be born with money.

golf

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
— P.J. O'Rourke

politics Democrats and Republicans

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it's often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.
— P.J. O'Rourke

pets