Groucho Marx Quotes
Most popular Groucho Marx Quotes
![Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/64/33064A-humor-is-reason-gone-mad-groucho-marx.png)
Humor is reason gone mad.
![Home is where you hang your head. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/62/23362A-home-is-where-you-hang-your-head-groucho-marx.png)
Home is where you hang your head.
![I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/60/43060A-ive-had-a-wonderful-time-but-this-wasnt-it-groucho-marx.png)
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
![Before I speak, I have something important to say. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/66/21966A-before-i-speak-i-have-something-important-say-groucho-marx.png)
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
![Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/79/24379A-military-intelligence-is-a-contradiction-in-terms-groucho-marx.png)
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
![Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/85/23385A-wives-are-people-who-feel-they-dont-dance-enough-groucho-marx.png)
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
![Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/55/22855A-whoever-named-it-necking-was-a-poor-judge-anatomy-groucho-marx.png)
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
![A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/87/20487A-a-hospital-bed-is-a-parked-taxi-with-meter-running-groucho-marx.png)
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
![Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/19/17619A-politics-doesnt-make-strange-bedfellows-marriage-does-groucho-marx.png)
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
![I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/79/17579A-i-was-married-by-a-judge-i-should-have-asked-groucho-marx.png)
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
![All people are born alike—except Republicans and Democrats. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/27/52627A-all-people-are-born-alike-except-republicans-democrats-groucho-marx.png)
All people are born alike—except Republicans and Democrats.
![I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/16/22616A-i-dont-want-to-belong-to-any-club-that-will-groucho-marx.png)
I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
![Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men-the other 999 follow women. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/54/20854A-only-one-man-in-a-thousand-is-leader-men-other-groucho-marx.png)
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men-the other 999 follow women.
![Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/77/22577A-given-the-choice-between-a-woman-cigar-i-will-always-groucho-marx.png)
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
![Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution? - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/54/23654A-marriage-is-a-wonderful-institutionbut-who-wants-live-institution-groucho-marx.png)
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
![If there was no action around, he would play solitaire—and bet against himself. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/13/23213A-if-there-was-no-action-around-he-would-play-solitaire-groucho-marx.png)
If there was no action around, he would play solitaire—and bet against himself.
![Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/07/38907A-please-accept-my-resignation-i-dont-care-belong-any-club-groucho-marx.png)
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
![There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/27/20527A-theres-one-way-to-find-out-if-man-is-honest-groucho-marx.png)
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
![From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/85/22785A-from-the-moment-i-picked-your-book-up-until-i-groucho-marx.png)
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
![Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. - Groucho Marx quote.](/img/q/66/23966A-politics-is-the-art-of-looking-trouble-finding-it-everywhere-groucho-marx.png)
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.