Fred Allen Quotes

Most popular Fred Allen Quotes

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

television

You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.
— Fred Allen

life

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back.
— Fred Allen

praise

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

advertising

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
— Fred Allen

exercise

To a newspaperman, a human being is an item with the skin wrapped around it.

newspapers

Committee—A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

committees

An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

actors

A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
— Fred Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
— Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
— Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
— Fred Allen

Hollywood

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

life

A vice-president in an advertising agency is a "molehill man." A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 a.m. and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch.
— Fred Allen

advertising