Fred Allen Quotes
Most popular Fred Allen Quotes
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
To a newspaperman, a human being is an item with the skin wrapped around it.
Committee—A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
A vice-president in an advertising agency is a "molehill man." A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 a.m. and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch.