W. C. Fields Quotes

Most popular W. C. Fields Quotes

I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
— W. C. Fields
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
— W. C. Fields

opinions

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
— W. C. Fields

equality funny

Anybody who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
— W. C. Fields

pets

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
— W. C. Fields

politics voting

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
— W. C. Fields

children

What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?
— W. C. Fields

drinking

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
— W. C. Fields

funny drinking

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
— W. C. Fields

women

I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be friends.

friendship

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
— W. C. Fields

children

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
— W. C. Fields

failure

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no use in being a damn fool about it.
— W. C. Fields

failure funny perseverance

There may be some things better than sex, and there may be some things worse. But there's nothing exactly like it.
— W. C. Fields

sex