Cynthia Heimel Quotes

Most popular Cynthia Heimel Quotes

Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.

face makeup

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.


Possessions, for the terminally frightened, bring peace of mind.


A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.


A sense of humor isn't everything.  It's only 90 percent of everything.

sense of humor

A car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!


Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate.  Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.


All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.


When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
— Cynthia Heimel


We have no faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her cure, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.
— Cynthia Heimel


You must acknowledge deep in your heart of hearts that people are supposed to fuck. It is our main purpose in life, and all those other activities—playing the trumpet, vacuuming carpets, reading mystery novels, eating chocolate mousse—are just ways of passing the time until you can fuck again.
— Cynthia Heimel