P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

Most popular P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

She turned him down like a bedspread.
— P. G. Wodehouse


She had a penetrating sort of laugh.  Rather like a train going into a tunnel.


Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.
— P. G. Wodehouse


If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
The door opened and his head emerged cautiously, like that of a snail taking a look around after a thunderstorm.
The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked like he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "When."
To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time.


It is a good rule in life never to apologize.  The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.


She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing armchairs tight about the hips that season.
The only way...of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him.  In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.


Always get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader off more than a great slab of prose at the start.
— P. G. Wodehouse

writing advice prose

It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it all had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
— P. G. Wodehouse

violin funny

The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.  Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshiped as gods.


She had hair the color of ripe wheat and eyes of cornflower blue.  Add a tiptilted nose and a figure as full of curves as a scenic railway, and it will not strike you as strange that Stilton . . . should have stood gaping at her dumbly.