Garrison Keillor Quotes

Most popular Garrison Keillor Quotes

We carry adolescence around in our bodies all our lives.


The Book: Man's Chief Weapon Against Tedium. Woman's too.


Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.


Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
— Garrison Keillor
A man can't eat anger for breakfast and sleep with it at night and not suffer damage to his soul.
— Garrison Keillor


Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world—like grace —and shines on everybody.
— Garrison Keillor


Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you.


Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it.

sense of humor

Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.


Writers are vacuum cleaners who suck up other people's lives and weave them into stories like a sparrow builds a nest from scraps.


It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
— Garrison Keillor


Journalism is a good place for any writer to start—the retailing of fact is always a useful trade and can it help you learn to appreciate the declarative sentence.
— Garrison Keillor

journalism writing advice

A romp in the hay lingers like the first line of a song, but your true love is the one you make a life with and write more than a line about, you write a whole book.